SISTERS!

Here are all my wonderful sisters (excluding Piper :( ) sorry Pip. We went to lunch for my sister in laws bday sherrie (the preggie in the middle :) ) anyhow it was really fun and I thought for sure we should take a pic cause who knows when kim will be here again. Miss her and her kids already. Love my sisters, thanks for all you have ever done for me. I will forever be in your debt!!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!
We had a wonderful 4th spent in Nephi in the morning at the carnival, watching Tyler play basketball, kirsten riding lots of rides and spending time with the Hall family.
Later in the afternoon we headed to Nanna's house to swim with kirsten's cousins and then fireworks in Sandy!
what a wonderful day it was spent surrounded by family. We feel so blessed to be surrounded by those we love.

Kirsten's face painting!

Derik, Hayley and Kirsten enjoying the fireworks

counsins!!! They had so much fun playing together!

Kirsten focusing on making her birdhouse

kirsten took a pic of leanne

Bye Yorgie!
We sold our 4 year old chihuahua on monday :( He's had a really difficult time with the divorce (as weird as that is to say, he's a dog!) but he's been peeing all over the house and I just felt he needed a home with more attention. I put him on KSL late sunday night and got a call monday afternoon from a cute family in Farmington with 3 kids and a big yard. They came to see him that afternoon and took him home right away. Kirsten has been pretty devistated, but I know it was the best choice for yorgie.
We got Yorgie in January of 2003, just after I had my first miscarriage. He was just a tiny thing and I remember him cowering from us under the couch. He would spend his nights crawling up tyler's shirt and sleeping there. He was such a sensitive dog, and just wanted love and affection.
sounds sappy to write a tribute to your dog but..he was a good dog.

We will miss your little yorgster!

Summer Time!
I cannot believe its almost july already *sigh...I love summertime and its almost halfway over. How time flies. Here are a few things we have been up to.

Hayley, Derik, Kirsten and tyler went to the arts festival in Salt lake kirsten had her face painted like this and she went around the rest of the evening barking and growling at people just like a little puppy!

I went with my friend Nicole to the Manti pageant, so fun!

Derik threw hayley a suprise bday party at the pool house! Lots of fun! I had Nicole make that cute cake!

We visited the graves a few weeks after memorial day. This is Kirsten at the grave of her great grandma zella who she is named after.

Ryan Shupe and the Rubber Band!
We went to see Ryan Shupe last night, it was SUCH a blast! Under the stars in this beautiful ampitheatre in Sandy til 11pm. Kirsten and I were dancing up a storm we had such a great time! And even stood in line to get our CD signed and get a picture! He's our new fav singer for sure!

Grandpa and Kirsten

Kirsten and I sat on the grass while gma, gpa and hayley and derik sat in the seats we definitly liked the grass better!

11:30pm all zonked out!

MY SONG!!!!
I've' always been one that has related to songs as I said in a previous post. Usually when I'm going thorugh whatever I am in my life I find a song I relate to and listen to it and cry, scream, sing at the top of my lungs (always) whatever emotion I have attached to that song. My latest is this song...I love it and it makes me feel liberated and happy all in one! I'm excited about my new life and new prospects.
For those who don't know this song is from a musical called Wicked. I saw it in chicago a month or so ago and it was AMAZING!

DEFYING GRAVITY
GLINDA
(spoken) Elphaba - why couldn't you have stayed calm for
once, instead of flying off the handle!
(sung) I hope you're happy!
I hope you're happy now
I hope you're happy how you
Hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you're clever!

ELPHABA
I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy, too
I hope you're proud how you
Would grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition

BOTH
So though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy right now

GLINDA
(spoken) Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry:
(sung) You can still be with the Wizard
What you've worked and waited for
You can have all you ever wanted:

ELPHABA
(spoken) I know:
(sung) But I don't want it -
No - I can't want it
Anymore:

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

GLINDA
Can't I make you understand?
You're having delusions of grandeur:

ELPHABA
I'm through accepting limits
'Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down:

GLINDA
I hope you're happy
Now that you're choosing this

ELPHABA
(spoken) You too
(sung) I hope it brings you bliss

BOTH
I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy, my friend:

ELPHABASo if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!

Another thing about me, LUCKY YOU!!!
If you see this you have to do it! It's fun! Just do it!
Just copy....hit Fwd....Paste.

Two Names You Go By
1. Mom
2. Mar
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. my new old navy shorts
2. brown, orange blue, polk a dot shirt I got in Iowa.
Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. Commitment
2. Love
Two of Your Favorite Things to do:
1. Hang out with my girlfriends
2. Hang out with my family
Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1. A decent looking nice guy to hit on me! (had 2 ugly guys recently)
2. To be able to move on with my life as a single mom.
Two pets you had/have:
1. A choclate brown chihuahua named Yorgie
2. Recently we just went through like 5 frogs, they just kept dying but they were cute and fun.
Two people who will fill this out:
1. No clue
2. Maybe Dawn?
Two things you did last night:
1. jumped on the tramp with my little sis and 2 girlfriends
2. fixed dinner and put to bed 6 children!
Two things you ate today:
1. chicken salad sandwich
2. crab meat
Two people you Last Talked To:
1. Hayley
2. Molly
Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. finding a new bathing suit
2. chillin with the kids and I'm sure there will be a small nervous breakdwon in there somewhere LOL
Two longest car rides:
1. Utah to California
2. Utah to Iowa
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Christmas
2. July 4th
Favorite beverages:
1. Cream Soda
2. Sierra Mist

7 things....
My sister Kim tagged me so I guess I will do it cause I'm bored lucky you kim. LOL
The rules: List 7 random things about yourself and tag 7 other people to make a list on their blog. (If you are reading this and would like to share 7 random things about yourself, please make a comment!)
1. I type (like in the air) sometimes when I watch tv, or sometimes while I'm thinking weird huh
2. I sleep with my mout WIDE open.
3. My middle name is Kjerstina.
4. I love lame reality t.v. shows.
5. This is the longest I've ever had my hair in my whole entire life (before this it never got longer than just above my shoulders)
6. I'm a clean freak but don't look in my closets or drawers cause they are a clutter mess.
7. Today I was jumping on the tramp with the boys I nanny for and I did a back flip and almost broke my elbow, or maybe my neck, who knows but it was freakin hilarious to the boys and the neighbors onlooking!


I tag:
Dawn
Carrott
Kirsten
Rachel
Sarah
Lindsey J.
Mimo

MY NEW PLAYER!!!

I added a play to my blog now. I'm SUCH a big music person, music has helped me through bad times and made my good times even more enjoyable! I've added a few that bring back sooo many memories and a few that describe how I feel about now! ENJOY!

SILLY GRANDMA!!
Kirsten and Grandma Pattee dancing to music at the pizza place in Park City. That face is classic mom!!!

Family Time!
We spent a couple days in park city this last weekend with granmda and grandpa burton. We had a lot of fun, but it was cut short because the pool was closed suddenly! Bummer but we still did have lots of fun!!!

Iowa trip!
We had a great time! We visited Nauvoo, Chicago, Niabia IL zoo, John Deer Museum and drove through lots of lots of corn fields through Iowa. We had a wonderful time seeing the Garners, where they live and spending time laughing and playing. Thanks Kim and Craig!
Instead of posting photos I thought I'd make a slide show. There a ton of pictures so be warned ENJOY

Catching up!

Zoo trip. I took the kids I nanny for and Kirsten to the zoo. It was a beautiful day and we had a great time!
Kirsten with the gorilla (is she copin a feel? LOL)

the kids on the catepilar!

almost as big as the gorilla!

another ride on the catepillar

Best of Friends!

I was lucky enough to make a really good friend, my soul sister I like to call her last spring. It was really by chance that we became such good friends and such an amazing blessing in my life!!! She is moving away this summer for 3 years possibly, I have no idea what on earth I will do without her. I dont' have a picture of her and I, but here is Kristen and her little girl Emily. Although they have their moments, like all little girls do they are best friends also. Kirsten and I will be oh so lonely without them. All the more reason to soak up the next 3 months while they are here!!!
I love this picture of Kirsten and Emily at the park!

Wow it has been a really long time hasn't it?

I thought about ditching blogger. LOL But...blogger has always been so good to me. And so have my friends that say they still check it even though I've been a total slacker.
Basically I have no clue what to write about, life has change quite a bit since my last post. I am currently trying to figure out where my life should go next. As some of you, well most of you know Tyler and I seperated over 2 months ago. Just recently I met with my stake president looking for advice and I've decided instead of waiting for him to come back around I need to take the step foward to divorce completely. Its been a hard decision, but I know that the Lord has comforted me and helped guide me to this decision. Whenever I doubt, or feel like just giving up on it all, I feel a voice inside of me saying "you know this is right Maren, keep trudging through"
I feel blessed to have my beautiful daughter and I want to make right by her. I want to make our lives wonderful and I want her to grow up healthy and happy and I want to do everything I can do to that. So there's that! A small little update!
I'm still working part-time as a nanny for a really great family nearby. And I will be heading to Iowa this week to visit my sister Kim and her family! I am very very very excited about that trip!
I will end with some pics from Easter and a few others.

easter egg pow-wow splitting the eggs so its fair!

Random thoughts for the day......

I got a special package in the mail the other day, at first I didn't open it because a message board I'm apart of is doing valentines day packages and I thought that was it. But I couldn't wait to open it until Feb 14th so I opened it and it was for a friend from another board (I sound like such an internet nerd LOL) anyhow..it was a willow tree figurine, someone special had read my blog about my desire to collect those and sent one. The name of it was "courage", I will post a pic of it later but this person was really in tune with what I needed and what is going on in my life. I will be able to look at that figurine and the joy that I see in it will bring me courage through anything that comes my way. Thank you special friend.
Also I was on carrots blog, a friend from one of my boards I used to talk to often but now just catch up on her life through her blog (hilarious blog I might add) and she had a pic of those conversation hearts. I'm craving them now and must stop by the store in the next couple days and get them. I love holidays and all the fun litttle candy's that come along with it.
Well thats it for now.....I'm going to take and post some new pics soon.

100 Things about Me!
I challenge anyone that reads this to do the same and post it in your blog! I would love to read it!!
1. I am a SAHM to my 3 year old daughter kirsten.
2. I got married when I was 21.
3. I am LDS (Mormon)
4. I attended Snow college for 1 1/2 years although I lived there for 2 years. Got my education in the education of life.
5. I was in choir in highschool, madrigals also
6. I was also in all the musicals in highschool and played on of the main parts my senior year.
7. Some days I like to do nothing, sit around in my pj's and not even shower if I'm not going anywhere
8. I love chick flicks, some of my favs are Where the Heart is, Pride and Prejudice, 13 going on 30
9. My daughters full name is Kirsten Zella after my grandmother who died when I was 12.
10.That same grandmother I've always felt a strong kinship to since being a mother and she has helped me through a lot of trials in my life.
11. I am not a phone person, infact sometimes I avoid them all together. I much prefer email.
12. I love reality shows, the more dramatic the better.
13. Summertime is my fav season although whenever each season comes to an end I'm ready for the next change of scenary.
14. Christmas and 4th of July are my fav. holidays
15. I've always wanted to be a mom, I've thought about other careers but being a mom was always my lifes desire.
16. I turn 26 on wednesday.
17. I Love country Music.
18. I just bought the new dixie chicks cd despite my husband not wanting me to. My fav song on the album is shut up and sing.
19. My daughter was born with a birth defect where her esophogus didn't attach to her stomach. She spent 12 days in primary childrens and had surgery her first day of life.
20. I have a healthy happy 3 year old!
21. I work part time 2 days a week as a nanny for a family of 5.
22. I love the beach.
23. My first car was a old blue buick station wagon that had the rear facing back seat.
24. My favorite smell is lilacs.
25. I would love to move out of Utah for a few years.
26. I love reading LDS fiction books about the early saints.
27. My fav. books are The Children Of The Promise
28. I have 4 sisters and 1 brother.
29. I Believe in God.
30. I like to take care of others, particualarly my husband and daughter.
31. I love to ski.
32. I try to be a good friend, although I know I'm not perfect and fail too often.
33. I never served a mission but was told once by a boyfriend that something I had set followed the commitment pattern to a T.
34. I am very emotional and wear my emotions on my sleeve.
35. I am scared of sleeping alone.
36. My favorite colors are purple and sage green.
37. I have very olive skin and growing up I thought I was part Indian.
38. I've never lived out of the state of Utah.
39. I failed my driving test by running a red light.
40.I'm always told I look familiar.
41. Everywhere I go I can usually find either a connection to someone or see someone I know.
42. I love the sun.
43. My favorite TV shows are Greys Anatomy, Men in Trees, The office and ER.
44. My pet peeve is when people put words in my mouth.
45. I've never had a speeding ticket (knock on wood).
46. I like to scrapbook but haven't procrastinated horribly at it.
47. I am a procrastinator.
45. I am a cleanfreak and hate when things are dirty although my house is very cluttered.
46. I sell Mary Kay on the side.
47. I'm not the greatest cook but I try.
48. I wish I could afford buying all my food at Wild Oats and go completely organic!
49 I try to eat healthy but I don't have much self control.
50. I cry everytime I hear the song "I'm proud to be an american"
51. I wish I lived out in the middle of nowhere with animals and acres of land.
52. Growing up I convinced people that the owner of Burton snowboards was my uncle.
53. I know I should have finished college but never liked school.
54. I've always loved children and started babysitting when I was 9.
55. I love candles especially warm scented ones like cinnamon, or cinnamon rolls and christmas smells.
56. My fav. food is pizza or anything italian.
57. I have a whole group of friends I've met online.
58. I'm not a choclate lover, although I do enjoy it now and then.
59. I love rasberry cheescake icecream.
60. I'm obsessed with cinnamon bears.
61. I'd love to collect willow tree dolls but so far I only have one.
62. I've had 4 miscarriages.
63. I love camping.
64. When I'm camping I must wash my hands and feet and my daughters hands and feet before we get into the tent for bed (some call me anal)
65. People say I have a large but pretty smile.
66. People say I have really white teeth LOL.
67. I've never had a calling outside of the primary since I've been married.
68. I play the piano, although I'm very rusty.
69. I'm a conservative but sometimes I question the political views of some conservatives.
70. I'm easily swayed by others ideas.
71. I'm indesicive.
72. I have a low pain tolerance yet I'm tougher than I think.
73. 5 days after having my c-section with my daughter I walked 3 miles in the snow.
74. My first kiss was the summer after my 16th birthday, I still can remember the taste of pizza on his breath (YUCK!)
75. I love to country dance and was quite good and performed in college. (but haven't since, because my husband doesn't know how)
76. I'm intimidated by teenagers (totally silly huh!)
77. I have very little patience and its something I'm constantly working on.
78. I love a good night out with girlfriends, laughing and enjoying listening to on another.
79. I'm very outgoing but as I've gotten older and had a child its been harder for me to come out of my shell.
80. If I'm uncomfortable I clam right up.
81. I sucked my thumb until I was 10.
82. Consequnetly I had braces for 2 1/2 years!
83. I'm fascinated with movies and books about World War 2.
84. One of my fav things is to declutter my house and afterwards I walk around thinking how grea it feels.
85. Ditto to #84 but with cleaning my house.
85. I was married in the Manti temple on September 21st, 2001
86. Although sometimes my daughter makes me want to pull my hair out, most of the time I stand in awe at her beauty and laugh my head off at her sillyness.
87. I'm amazed at the miracle of pregnancy and childbirth and wonder how someone could ever not believe in God.
88. I doubt myself too often.
89. I come from a long line of loud talkers.
90. I want to get into better shape and eat healthier.
91. Being a mom has changed my life in ways I never would have imagined.
92. I've always been a dog lover, but having one live in my house is not as much fun as I thought. LOL but we really do love yorgie our chihuahua.
93. I have a strong sense of smell and can smell anything from a mile away.
94. I've never been able to bend over and touch my toes.
95. I'm not athletic.
96. I'm horrible at math and science and almost didn't graduate cause I was failing my Human Biology class.
97. I love to watch tv to veg out for the evening.
98. It has taken me 4 hours to finish this (with lunch and dinner breaks and long other breaks of course)
99. I love all my sisters but I'm sad we aren't as close as I wish we were.
100. I love the spend time with family and will forever be grateful for such a HUGE blessing they are in my life.

well it lasted almost a day............

I started a new healthy eating/exercising regime I did a little of it last week and did pretty good. But this week I started a meal plan from my fitness magazine and its just eating lots of fruits and veggies, wheat etc. etc. etc. anyhow....I did so good today despite breakfast not being all that yummy. But after dinner I was starving!!! I kept seeing pizza, tacos, all kinds of stuff on tv and getting cravings. well I gave in, I had 2 small candy bars and like 7 cinnamon bears. uggghhhhh I'm not normally hungry and its not like my new menu isn't filling, I think its all in my mind.
On a good note, yesterday I was called to the second counselor in the Primary presidency. Also I was able to snuggle a baby during primary and tyler was sitting there with me and he held him and there was just something that felt so right. Things are rocky with us, but it was so nice to have a peaceful feeling as far as feeling as though a child was missing from our family. Now if only I could start keeping my pregnancies.

And now for christmas. We had a wonderful time with family, first to my parents house for dinner and the christmas story with the cousins. KIrsten as you can see took her roll or Mary very seriously, she sat there the whole time so quiet and listened intently on what grandma read.
We woke up early christmas morning to see what santa brought, I didn't get pictures (DOH!!!) but I will try to upload the video camera tape. She got an electronic easel and she's love it!!! Soon after we headed to nephi to see tyler's parents and family. THey always go big at christmas so its so fun to go there and see everyone opening presents.
We were so blessed this year and thankful for friends and family and all we have. Merry Christmas and Happy New year!

Kirsten with my nephew spencer as Joseph and Mary

Christmas morning at grandma and grandpas

Here's what I've been up to......

I'm starting something new, no more sad posts. LOL I might throw one in now and then for good old times ;) but I'm just gonng post pictures and share the joys in my life. Thanks again for all those who have listened, I'm blessed to have so many friends and such a wonderful support system.

First I will post my 3 year old daughters bday pics. Its hard to believe she is 3 already. It seems like yesterday and like a lifetime ago she was born. I'm so lucky to have my little girl, she's the funniest thing you've ever met. Such a joy to our lives!

Kirsten with her homemade cake by momma!

she was rippin through those presents like a pro


the cake (handmade by moi) pretty sad lookin I know but she loved it! LOL
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she made out like a bandit!!!